The Image of God - part 1 of ??

To write this entry is to grapple with an impossible question: why did mankind come to be? This question is as old as humanity itself. But I think that a facet of this answer - a tiny sliver - lies in the husband and wife and the parent and child relaionships. Both are ways in which we show that we are the image of God, for both are aspects of how He acts. This entry will touch on the first kind of relationship.

I will only be able to skim the surface here. I realize what I am up against, first because I have never been married and therefore cannot write about that relationship from my own experiences, and second because even the wisest of mankind cannot figure out how love works. Even Agur - who wrote Prov. 30 and therefore must have been pretty wise - writes below in verses 18-19:

"There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:

the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden."

If a writer of Proverbs confesses himself lost, what hope do I have? I write about things I have no hope of understanding.

Genesis 2:24 states that the very reason we leave home is to marry. I think that deep down, the seed of the hope for a spouse is within us when we leave home - it is a part of being an adult. We may go to college to learn about a profession or a trade, but very few of us leave home solely with those thoughts in mind. We learn a trade because we hope that it will be a satisfying way to pay the bills, not because it will satisfy our deeper needs. The "gift of singleness" - that of lifelong devotion to Christ alone - is granted to few.

Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 in Ephesians 5:31-32. He ackowledging the divine mystery, and he adds, "but I am talking about Christ and the church."

The marriage allegory is helpful, but doesn't answer all my questions. We live in an imperfect world, and there is a lot of fear and confusion from both genders. Confusion follows us before we even get out the gate. For example, the question of who should ask whom out on a date receives varied responses, even in the church. Who leads, and who follows? Is there value for a woman in being pursued, and should men bother pursuing? Who's on first? This mess of confusion is less like Christ and the church and more like an Abbott and Costello routine.

I take comfort in knowing that God sought us out from the beginning. Ephesians 1:11 tells us that God has us in mind before we were even a glimmer in our parents' eyes. Before our parents' parents' parents. His love for us - for me - was real and true before time began.

He sought us out by leaving home to look for us. * He stripped Himself of his majesty because He knew His glory would overwhelm us (Ex. 33:20). Even though so much would go wrong in us (Romans 5:8), He learned obedience as a son and then proved His love by giving up what is most precious. He was so overcome by love that He would rather sacrifice Himself than to live for an eternity without us.

He sought us with vigor, like the shepherd seeks one lost sheep out of 100, like one lost coin out of perhaps a pile full - for a lost person retains the value of a found person.

He seeks us out as a betrothed. He puts an engagement ring on our finger. The most important question we will ever be asked, is "Do you take Me to be your Savior?" The moment we say "I do," He puts a ring on our finger; He seals us with the promise of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14). And oh, how that ring sparkles! He's fixing up a beautiful house to live in together forever (John 14:3). That is pure, single-minded pursuit. That is the altar call - to be the bride of Christ.

As for how that answers the "image of God" question, I think part of how we show that we are the image of God is acting like He acts. We show that we are the image of God **when our men love and treasure women like Christ loves the church, and women honor men and trust their leadership as the church honors God and follows His lead (Ephesians 5:22-33). I may spend my life learning what that means.

* I'd also recommend Kierkegaard's Parable of a King and a Maiden. Powerful stuff.
** I've heard verse 21 quoted as a justification for an egalatarian marriage. I just don't buy it; the rest of the text doesn't seem to bear it out. Verse 22 seems to be a divider to me - Paul is shifting topics to general church business to something more specific.

A Game Without Rules

Guidelines for Christian Dating, part 1

There is a great deal of pressure to conform to societal expectations of dating, and then eventually marriage. One writer even goes so far as to call the single years past 25 "The Panic Years." She couldn't be more right. Every year more of my friends and family marry; every year come those awkward moments at weddings. Relatives ask if I have a boyfriend, have found "The One," or worse, am married yet. Any single who is over 25 knows what I mean; weddings seem to invite this sort of behavior. Once you reach that magical quarterly milestone, singleness is full of embarrassing moments like this.

Pressure is worse in the church. If singleness is pandemic, so is the pressure to marry. It usually starts around the age of 21 - younger if the single in question attends a conservative church. Singleness beyond a certain age is held to be sinful and unnatural, and many writers blame Christian men - men who receive and must sort through the same messages as their single sisters. Christian bookstores stock far more books on marriage and how to reach this state than books on singleness. Singleness is the problem, and marriage is the solution. This notion is prized despite the fact that divorce statistics for Christians mirror that of the rest of the world. Marriage, like singleness, is a state, not a solution.

While singleness beyond 25 is held to be unnatural, it is also a holy time between the single and Jesus. The latter point is carried to extremes: a single woman isn't allowed to look, or even to desire a husband other than Christ. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told some variation of “If you stop looking for love you’ll find it.” These conflicting values create a generation of Christian singles that want love, but are afraid to admit it.

Love whispers nervously in the pews, but it shouts at us from the billboards. The pervasive value that society puts on romance is inescapable: turn the radio on; turn the TV on or go to the movies, and within five minutes you will hear about somebody’s emotionally profound experience in love. The Beatles tell us that all we need is love; Romeo and Juliet were willing to die for it. Since these messages bombard from every direction, even the most contented single can take a hit.

Despite the number of resources available on the subject, we are no wiser than our ancestors. We write, sing and speak about what we don't understand. Humans have invented courtship models to direct and contain it. While some direction is good, no human invention can ever be perfect. Old models of courtship are romanticized today; however, for the better part of last millennium, courtship was heavily based on the social standing of one's family. King Agur's words in Proverbs 30:18-19 continue to be true today. We may blame modern convention for our troubles, but ambiguity concerning love is as old as mankind.

"There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.
- Proverbs 30:18-19

Love in a postmodern society is a game without rules. Christians blame the world, but ambiguity is also present in the conflicting social mores of the church. However, we must keep in mind that confusion is not a God-ordained state; it's a human one that God doesn't wish on us at all (1 Cor. 14:33).

Fortunately, the Bible has a lot to say on the subject. Read on below:

• Take it slow: Christ commands that we approach marriage soberly, with maturity and discernment (Matt 19:7-12).
• Sexual Purity: Purity is a direction that starts in the mind, and extends forward to deeds of the body - including dating. Keep your mind pure (Prov. 4:23; 2 Timothy 2:22), by reading the Word (Psalm 40:8, 94:12, 119:9, 11; 2 Tim. 2:15), and your actions will follow (Matt 12:35, 15:17-20, Phil. 4:6-9).
• Past Relationships: Don't live in the past, and forgive those who have wronged you (Matt 18:21-35; Phil 3:13-14).
• Only Date and Marry Believers: Choose a likeminded Christian who's on the same page as you are (2 Cor 6:14-18).

I plan on addressing each point separately in the entries to come.

Love and Lattes

Further reflections on Romans 13:8-14

The last time anyone alluded to the rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16-28), my initial reaction was to scoff. Pssshyeah, right! Like I need this passage?! I’m one of the least possession-oriented people that I know! What thing of mine could I possibly have been holding me back? Clearly, this passage was written with somebody else in mind.

Gently, God called me deeper into His word. No, that wasn’t it. God doesn’t write His word for only some of us. What could possibly be my problem?

Said problem occurred to me at lunchtime today, which I had at a small Mexican restaurant: I am a poor steward of my money. How bad could this possibly be? Pfft. A quick bite to eat here, a latte there...can’t be much worse than that, right?

A closer inspection of my bank account revealed that my self-indulgence is not occasional; it is habitual. Costly, too. How much of this money could have been given to the poor? All of it?

"What is this; hey, what's the deal? I don't sleep around, and I don't steal! But I want the things you just can't give me..."
Derek Webb, Rich Young Ruler

Am I willing to cross that threshold, to do whatever it takes to follow God? To really give of myself, even when that gift becomes a sacrifice? I have a funny feeling that Jesus would have me do no less.

I’m not sure that Jesus wants me to give all of our stuff away to sell, and I'm the last person to put any rules on anyone else; if God hasn't called you to do something, don't do it. However, I do implore each of us - myself included - to ask what's holding us back from really serving the King. What is it that may cause each of us to "walk away sorrowful?" (Matthew 19:22) Life should be a mad dash towards God - what weighs us down? (Hebrews 12:1)

God wants all of me. He wants my heart and my soul, and everything that I do. He wants every detail of my life: the huge, life-altering decisions, day-to-day minutiae, and everything in between. My checkbook fits neatly in here as well: how I spend alters how I give. And somehow, God even wants my café lattes.

Typed entirely with my left hand - 2nd monologue

Thoughts upon ordering a new pocket Bible

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
- 2 Peter 1:3

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
- 2 Timothy 3:16

I can't quite remember when I got my pocket Bible. It feels like it's always been with me, almost like my right arm. I carry it wherever I go, and I don't feel complete if I don't have it with me. It's the same sensation as leaving the apartment without my coat in the winter, or going to a new place without a map or GPS. I feel that lost without it.

This Bible is a tiny New Testament and Psalms, and has become worse for wear over the time it's been with me. It was once blanched white, but shows wear in the dirt that creeps in through the cracks of the patent leather cover, and the lovable dog-ear on the upper right of the cover.

My Bible has been with me when I've been in desperate need for a quiet time alone with God. Somehow, God has used it to lead me wherever He wants me to go; whenever I feel lost, lonely or confused, He'll point me to the right place in Scripture. Whenever anyone else in my life has a need, God points me where to go; all I need to do is stay in tune with God and listen for what He wants me to say (2 Tim. 4:2). My Bible may be small -and mostly New Testament at that, but somehow, it has everything I need. (2 Peter 1:3; 2 Tim. 3:16-17)

I've heard it said that if your Bible's a mess, that's a pretty good indication that your life isn't. Oh, that I might continue to fall in love with God through His word (Psalm 119)!

Typed entirely with my left hand - 1st monologue

Drunk on Stimulus: Too Much of a Good Thing

Lately, when I look at my schedule I cringe. Bible study on Monday, movies on Tuesday, BBQ with small group on Wednesday, watch The Office on Thursday. Last week's schedule of events was similar. Same bad show, same bad channel.

It's not that I don't like doing any of these things. I'm not anti-fun. It just seems like that's all I've been doing lately. I could blame my recent hand surgery, but I know that's not the answer. My schedule was this way before - there was just more of it.

I think it's because there's a God-shaped hole in me (yes, we can blame Plumb for the musical reference), and I'm prone to trying to stuff that hole with the wrong things. Kind of like filling up on candy bars instead of eating a healthy meal. Sure, the candy bar is tasty, and the fulfillment is immediate. But it's temporary, and too many of them can lead to diabetes.

"We are all on drugs yeah
Never getting enough (never get enough)
We are all on drugs yeah
Give me some of that stuff (WOO)"

"We Are All On Drugs," Weezer

I'm prone to filling that God-shaped hole with the wrong things: movies with shiny machines, big explosions and characters that grab me, new songs with thumping bass and driving guitars, the best artwork, and the deepest conversations. Fulfillment is immediate, but temporary. Too much can lead to addiction - the type 2 diabetes of the soul. My soul wants God, but I glut it with something else. Eventually, it becomes resistant to the very thing it was meant to thrive on.

"The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing."
- Ecclesiastes 1:8b

I'm not satisfied by what I see and hear; I never will be. I wasn't designed that way. Nobody is. Solomon recognized the problem with entertainment 2,700 years ago: when we seek to glut ourselves with entertainment, we attempt to fill ourselves with what can't possibly satisfy. We can't satisfy our souls on what we can see and hear - the temporal - because we are designed to be satisfied by that which is eternal, Christ (Psalm 37:4).

I think that my dissatisfaction with my entertainment-soaked life is really a cry for more God in it. I want fellowship that goes deeper. I want to reach out to those who are lost and hurting in this world. I don't want to just soak in church on Sundays and speak God on Mondays - I want to put into action what I'm learning.

I like fun, but too much of a good thing is not good. I don't want a life that is just fun. I want one that is marked by purpose.

Lessons at a bachelorette party

God doesn't call us to go where we're comfortable, but to walk where He walked.

The night was charged with a raucous, frenetic energy. We were there to congratulate my cousin on her upcoming nuptials, and we did so heartily. Many glasses were raised in her honor; most of us danced through the night. But I found myself unable to relax and fully join in.

Did I dislike these women? Of course not. My mom was there, and so was my aunt. One was my cousin, and one a cousin-to-be. Each of the women I knew personally was a terrific mom whom I thought highly of as a human being. Some were Christ followers, but most weren't.

Was it the loud, sex-charged music that made me uncomfortable? The war whoops of the passengers that emanated every time we raised our glasses? Was it the questionably shaped party straws? The copious amounts of alcohol? Or was it that our inhibitions lowered as our blood alcohol content rose? It was these things and more.

It that as the night progressed further, I was afraid that I would join in. I was afraid that as the alcohol became plentiful and behavior raunchier that I would become just the same. I was afraid of losing myself. I was afraid of my old, unregenerate self re-emerging. I didn't want to see what old me would do to a town on a Saturday night - or what damage she would do in my life. And I didn't want to face the consequences on Sunday. I wanted people to listen to me when I talk about Christ, and I know people didn't listen to my old self, even when she tried.

I think that it's easier in my own life to set up restrictions for myself than it is to follow the promptings of the Spirit; I am terrible at following my conscience, but I'm good at following self-made instructions. I feel protected that way.

But when we as Christians set up restrictions for ourselves, we doom ourselves to failure. And we create a rule-bound system that ultimately turns people off and ticks off Jesus. After all, Jesus had more of an issue with the Pharisees than with the lost of the world. He hung out with people who needed Him, even if the religious right of His day deemed His methods unacceptable. This was the Jesus who celebrated the return of His own, who partied with prostitutes and dined with tax collectors. The scum of the earth.

In my life, I need to do more of the same. Jesus didn't tell me make self-righteous judgements (Matthew 7:1-3), set up a rule-bound system or encourage it in the lives of others (Galatians 3:1-6); he told me to love God, and to love people (Mark 12:29-30; Romans 13:8-9).

My cousin-to-be will have her own bachelorette party soon, and I must decide what to do. But the question must not be "How am I most comfortable?" but "How can I show love to my cousin-to-be?"

Sometimes the way to follow Jesus is not what we'd expect, or where we'd expect Him to take us. God doesn't always call us to follow Him at church picnics or worship seminars; God is calling us to follow Him where He walked. God doesn't always call us to comfortable places, or places that our highly legalized church society finds acceptable. But we must remember that we serve a God who broke the mold - who partied with prositutes, ate dinner with the IRS, who touched the diseased and "unclean" and worked when the legalized society of 1st century Palestine demanded He rest.

We're called to do the same: to be able to walk into a bar if that's what love demands of us on a Saturday - and not worry about what others will think of us on a Sunday. To embrace those our church often chooses to reject. To go to the bachelorette party of someone who doesn't know God, to show her love, and really celebrate.

The key to living like Jesus lived is to have Jesus live in me, and to submit to what Christ is doing in my life.

Confusing the gender analyzer

My blog is a man in woman's writing :P

We guess http://thepursuitoftheholy.blogspot.com/ is written by a man (57%), however it's quite gender neutral.

This was so funny I had to share.

Choosing homelessness

India has a caste of social outcastes that they call "untouchables." They are born into this group, and die there, and make a living handling things that the Hindu religion classifies as "unclean." Things that nobody else will do. Even their possessions are considered polluted. Pushed to the margins of their own faith and society, many will never know love and understanding.

Our society has untouchables too: we call them "homeless." Except we believe that they did it to themselves. They got this way because they refuse to work. We call them lazy. We call them addicts. We call them bums. Animals who dig through our trash; they have long forgotten what it means to me human. Resources exist if they would just seek them out. We believe that this is the life that they have chosen for themselves, and continue to choose.

But there are few absolutes when it comes to homelessness; the only thing that sticks is that they are much like the rest of us. They aren't lazy, and they aren't all addicted. It isn't that clear-cut. Many are simply victims of circumstance: loss of employment, eviction, the combination of high housing costs and low wages. Statistics for homelessness in Rochester prove that they are very much like the rest of us. Most of us have high insurance costs, car payments, college loans, rent or mortgage, and many other financial obligations that threaten to drive us deeper into debt. We are a nation that lives beyond its means. Most of us are a paycheck away from failure, and loan collectors aren't forgiving by nature. A job loss can easily put us on the streets.

It's difficult to think about homelessness in these terms because it brings the problem back to where we live. To the nice neighborhoods, to the hum of the lawnmowers, to the vinyl siding, to the whir of air conditioners. Most of us can't really afford to live in this dreamworld, and yet we still do. The American Dream is built on a house of cards, and can fall just as easily. It's pretty humbling to admit the homeless as our equal.

Besides, since when are we allowed to judge? At no time in Scripture does God allow us to commend ourselves. James 2:1-12 reminds us that we're not allowed to judge, or to play favorites. And what do we have that God did not give us?

Instead of issuing judgment on the less fortunate, let's bless and uplift them. God expects no less from His children.